Friday, September 11, 2009

rainy day thoughts



The beauty of our life is that, despite the danger and fragility and outright darkness that lie all around us, we are free. We are free to be something.


Anything can be chosen today; we can take ourselves down any path tomorrow. The day after we can choose another detour. We are free to live, free to die; free to be miserable, free to dance; free to fast, free to gorge.


We haul around an oasis of blood, bone, proteins, enzymes inside these carapaces we call our bodies. They aren't really even ours. They're like pets we wash, feed, exercise or let go. It's not even a luxury ride but a crude beast that happens to be required in order for us to happen.

We're each alone on this road, this place of moon and stars. We become. That's all. Exposed to novelty and chance and circumstance, not to mention our own sense of self and mindedness, we are our own perfect celebration. Unless subjugated or imprisoned we can do anything we want, but even under the most dire conditions we still have a choice.

We never know who will live or how long or whether it is ourself. We're born by lot and die when the time comes and that's a good thing. We don't have an expiration date or a guaranteed lifespan either and who would want that?

At the end we report back to the universe what we've seen.. a lake, a flower, rain, a shawl a mother made. There was a child, a lover, a friend. This is all we have or ever will have. We're free to hold on tight or free to let go. The moment belongs to us.

(the painting is by Michael Sowa who seems to have similar thoughts)

12 comments:

Lisa said...

Anything can be chosen today; we can take ourselves down any path tomorrow. The day after we can choose another detour. We are free to live, free to die; free to be miserable, free to dance; free to fast, free to gorge.

For as much as I have wanted to just not be in the last year or so, I wake up every morning and consider how today can better, if that's what I choose.

Damn it. Sounds a bit too much like optimism for me!

I love this post, susan. Very, very much.

Seraphine said...

i like that susan! being free.
it's harder than it sounds. sometimes it takes real effort. it's easier to do nothing, though i suppose the freedom to do nothing is part of the bargain.
i'll do something tomorrow.

AArdvarker said...

Funny you should mention it, as an aArvaark i really do have a carapace.

Randal Graves said...

This is all well and good until I realize that I had to come into work today. So much for your optimism, hmph. ;-)

susan said...

lisa - I'm glad you liked it and found it optimistic. I was thinking bittersweet and wasn't so sure about posting.

sera - 'the freedom to do nothing is part of the bargain' That's true and even choosing nothing is a choice with consequences as we know.

aardvarker - Everybody has them but some are more honest about them than others. Welcome to phantsy.

randal - You always have the choice to stay home.. and starve :-)

Mary Ellen said...

We never know who will live or how long or whether it is ourself. We're born by lot and die when the time comes and that's a good thing. We don't have an expiration date or a guaranteed lifespan either and who would want that?

Don't tell that to my mother-in-law who insisted to her doctor, when she turned 95, that she will only live about four more years because "not that many make it to 100". Her doctor immediately looked at the bottom of her foot and said, "I don't see an expiration date written anywhere, Josie!"

I stopped worrying a long time ago about how long I will live. I'm just enjoying the ride for now...hopefully when I run out of gas I'll be somewhere near my destination. ;-)

linda said...

"Exposed to novelty and chance and circumstance, not to mention our own sense of self and mindedness, we are our own perfect celebration."

I completely immersed myself in this post, almost bathing in it, I found it so refreshing...I don't exactly know why but it was. Perhaps my "own perfect celebration." And the painting is wonderful as well, perfectly so.

in gratitude, my sweet woman...
XO

linda said...

and are you having any problems with the sex act asian spammers I cannot get rid of? just wondering, not to go off on another tangent, but then again, I am...

I can't seem to be free of them!

susan said...

nunly - That was a good story about your grandmother and I couldn't agree with you more about hoping to be close when the gas runs out. May we coast in easy :-)

linda - Although I'm well aware we're not little homunculi operating our bodies from a driver's seat behind the eyes, there are still those periods of feeling like strangers in a strange land and utter connectedness to something much bigger.

The painting really is my favorite by him. It's one of the illustrations for a book called 'Esterhazy - the Rabbit Prince'.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the rabbit in the painting (the one in the overcoat) is humming John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" as he walks up the street.

Seraphine said...

bah, i hate consequences.

susan said...

spartacus - better choice than Mac the Knife :-)

sera - Yeah, me too.