Monday, August 24, 2015

dragon days of summer


As you can see, I did come up with one picture in recent days but the heat and humidity of August has made it uncomfortable enough that I can't stay at my table very long. So - a simple picture of two friends meeting after a little absence is something of a character study rather than an illustration for anything in particular. One of these days I'll get that story done..

Now that I've mentioned a story but don't have one of my own, here's an old favorite you might like:

When Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why yes I do know you since you were a little boy, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She replied, "Why yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said:

"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."


Meanwhile, I hope you've been enjoying the great outdoors as much as we have. Til next time.

20 comments:

  1. Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!!

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    1. Good! I'm glad you enjoyed it, Tom.

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  2. Never mess with a citizen with seniority! Love it!

    Really am very fond of your friends up top as well. Looking forward to a cooler day, so your story can being to percolate and get shared.

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    1. You said it, Halle. You can almost see her there, can't you?

      Thanks for your kind remark about the picture. Hopefully, I'll be in good form to continue soon.

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  3. Looking forward to the story and still smiling....:)

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  4. Ah, looks like Spitfire, the politest dragon in this universe and those yet to discover.

    Nice little old lady, this Mrs. Jones. :)

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    1. He could very well be - close to, anyway :)

      Definitely a no-nonsense lady.

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  5. Damn fine story, ma'am. And I'm a sucker for tykes with dragons, a very nice watercolor.

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    1. It made me laugh when I first read it too. I'm glad you liked the pictured meeting.

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  6. Hi Susan
    I know that Crow was becoming a tad concerned over your rosy cheeks with the humidity and inspired you to produce such a lovely picture of your kindly dragon friend with that familiar faithful companion. I understand now you are perfectly restored to your usual state of equilibrium and look forward to seeing a few pictures of the season’s delights. Another tale of humour as well
    Best wishes

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    1. Thanks so much, Lindsay. Not quite restored but, happily, getting that way. I'm happy you enjoyed the picture and the story.
      Best wishes

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  7. A great story. Reminds me of my Kentucky great grandmother.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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    1. She must have been quite a lady, OB.

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  8. Love your story about the Grandma'. Very fitting. I have another one thatI'll share with you at sometime. We're busy moving from house to condo — much too much work.

    Also enjoyed the picture of little girl meeting up with Dragon. Delightful character study, indeed.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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    1. I'll be looking forward to your story, Rob. What's this? You're moving again? I hope it all goes well.

      Glad you like the picture - just a simple one, but okay.

      All best wishes!

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  9. Your art with our favourite little girl and friend brought a smile to my face, then the Grandma story made me laugh out loud! Delightful!!

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed them, Marja-Leena!

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  10. Is that one of the old "dopey" dragons grown up? Just as well it seems friendly. Dragons don't make good enemies, I have been told, but make great friends.

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    1. He's not really supposed to be, Andrew, but you're right that he's friendly - at least in this case.

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