Monday, June 12, 2017

fear of flying with Crow

Recently Crow attended the nuptials of his cousin Cornelius and his lovely bride Hortensia. Aren't they a sweet couple?* and, yes, it was a lovely wedding.

When he returned he told me the guests at the reception had been quite disturbed about the news that humans are planning to annoy and irritate the flocks (more than they already are) by attempting to transport themselves to and from their various destinations by flying car. According to reports these vehicles are designed to fly 10 metres off the ground at a maximum speed of 100kph. Hmmm..

Anyway, here are some of Crow's thoughts on the matter:

I can understand a great deal of excitement has been generated among humans about being able to fly to the shop for a bottle of milk, but humans have certain handicaps in this regard that aren't shared by those of us born with wings. Ahem.

1. Birds, not having hands with opposable thumbs, do not text - ever.

2. When a bird decides to land most of us are small enough to find safety on a branch or on a roof. People in flying cars will not have this option.

3. Birds can glide. If anything goes wrong with your flying car it will become a flying brick. 

4. The number of new things a flying car could crash into are too numerous to list.

5. There aren’t too many scenarios where a crash could be trivial. At 10 metres high and 100kph you'll be ensured of serious injuries - and not necessarily just to yourself.

6. There aren’t even the beginnings of any sort of 'road rules' for flying cars.

7. We teach our young to fly. Who will teach yours?

8. What about traffic lights?

9. Unlike birds having the occasional 'accident' as we fly over your grounded cars, or selves, what happens to those below when you notoriously messy humans throw things out of your flying cars?

10. We can fly anywhere we like, but what of flying cars? Where will they fly? and will they sing and make happy chirping sounds outside your window? 

I fear there will be no peace anywhere.

After we talked about these unconsidered scenarios Crow and I watched a movie I remembered enjoying years ago. Called 'The Fifth Element', it does feature some flying cars:

Is this a modern development you're looking forward to enjoying?

* Family Wedding by Rudi Hurzlmeier

Article of the week: False flags


Tom said...

Nothing to add to that......except.....well, to get earthy.....humans do sometimes take portable loos with them - which birds do not!

Should Fish More said...

As a kid, in the '50's, I remember my generation were promised individual jet packs. I don't care about flying cars, I want my damn jet pack.

troutbirder said...

I can handle the occasional bird crashing into our living rooms windows but cars? This is "progress" we don't need....

troutbirder said...

If some kind soul could comment on his blog and tell the good doctor that Troutbirder would like to reconnect. I think I was inadvertently banished...:)

susan said...

Birds only have one thing to drop, Tom; humans, however, tend to throw anything and everything out the windows.

susan said...

You mean like Commander Cody, Mike? There are some guys flying jet packs much like his, but they look no safer.. especially if you're averse to broken limbs.

susan said...

Hi Troutbirder,
Since Mike has a blogspot too I can't imagine you've been stopped from leaving comments. His ID page is blank so I go right to his main page. Good luck and let me know if it doesn't work.

susan said...

Neither is having someone hover outside our thrird storey windows..

Sean Jeating said...

As a boy I found interesting to think of owning a flying carpet and later that once I might own a vehicle that could also fly; I also was looking forward to a few pills per day would redundantise 'all the cooking and eating'.
Half a century later I enjoy ... to let my thoughts fly.

troutbirder said...

Mystery solved. All I ever got was the ID page. Thanks for the help. Some of us history guys have trouble with modern technology....:)

susan said...

I'm glad it worked, TB.

susan said...

I'll do the same - at least until I have my own wings. :)

Lindsay Byrnes said...

Hi Susan,
Crow’s lineage to the time his forbears were magistrates quelling roman senate power I understand was a factor in ruffling his feathers on this issue. But his birds eye view is fully justified, because did you know about the rumour of a new ITO on Wall Street. A deal to licence car air owners and pets called T AIR C & P.
Now T AIR Car & P is going to raise a stash of money from Licensees who will own T air. They get rights to fly cars and trained cats and dogs to do the shopping.
Did you hear about how Crow remonstrated after the nuptials to the couple to uphold honour not to be trumped by these latest moves? Otherwise imagine pies falling out of the sky and to be once again subject to a tragic news story. This time about raining cats and dogs. What do you think? I thought maybe it’s just a matter of controlling good old fashioned hot air. But that seems to be a hell of a challenge these days.
Best wishes

susan said...

Goodness knows where things could end after all that. Pigs with wings? Cows jumping over the moon? Oysters chasing after walruses and carpenters? The owl and the pussycat dancing on the edge of the sand?
I prefer the hot air of olden days.
All the best

L'Adelaide said...

Can't type but wanted to pop in to catch up if possible.... no, self driving cars are scary enough, thinking of flying cars isn't any better, with or without humans piloting! I too prefer the hot air sort that float by occasionally. Somehow they make sense! 🙃

susan said...

We realized a while ago that if human drivers manage to kill 50k people a year then self driving cars that kill less than that number would be considered a net benefit.

The floating ones are much better to watch. :)