Sunday, September 13, 2009

Crow repartee

Crow here. It's a little known fact that a favorite hobby of the gargoyles at Notre Dame Cathedral is collecting jokes. There's nothing they enjoy more than a good laugh at the foibles of humanity. Why else do you think they allowed Quasimoto the leeway they did when he was running around the rooftops, ringing the bells, grabbing young women and generally causing a commotion? It's because he was a clown. A sad clown, yes, but he provided some amusement to their generally tedious task of spitting rain water past the gables.

I well remember when susan had decided to spend some time in Paris (unfortunately she'd chosen three months in winter but that's another story) and had flown off one afternoon to see the Eiffel Tower while I relaxed with my old friend Gregoire the Cracked Horn. He'd overheard a story that went like this:

There were five passengers on a flight - a politician, a rich man, an old priest, a hippy and the world's smartest man. After the plane had been in the air a little while they noticed the engines sputtering and wondered if there was trouble. Just then the pilot rushed into the cabin and said, 'I can't restart the engines and the plane is going to crash. I suggest you each grab a parachute and follow me.' He opened the door outside then went to a cupboard, grabbed a parachute and leaped out. The other passengers looked in the cupboard and found only four parachutes.

The politician took a parachute and said, 'I have constituents who need me to be in Congress for a very important vote so I must save myself.' He jumped out.

The rich man said, 'I have a very important business and my stockholders are counting on me to keep them rich.' He grabbed a parachute and jumped out.

The world's smartest man said, 'I'm the world's smartest man so it should be evident to all why I need this parachute.' He followed the others.

Now only the old priest and the hippy were left and the priest said, 'It's all right my son. I've lived a long and fruitful life and look forward to my reward. You take the last parachute.'

The hippy replied, 'Don't worry about it father. The world's smartest man just grabbed my back pack.'



Utah Savage said...

Very fine story, crow.

Lisa said...

Oh how I love that drawing. There you are, susan, flying over Paris. Perfect.

La Belette Rouge said...

Hilarious! And it must be nice to be a crow and not need a backpack, I mean parachute.

Nancy said...

Bwaaahahahaha - Thanks Crow, I needed that.

Seraphine said...

i heard if you jump up just before hitting the ground that you won't get hurt. (just something to remember if you fall out of an airplane or an elevator fails)

Mary Ellen said...

I love that joke! I'm jealous about the trip to Paris...even if it was winter.

I'm curious, is Crow fluent in French or is "Crow" an International language?

Randal Graves said...

Winter, summer, I'll even squeeze into a backpack if it'll get me to Paris.

Spadoman said...

Paris, eh? I heard Springtime is the best time to be there, but then again, that song was written before global climate change problems.
Good joke Crow, did you hear the one about the one eyed white elephant?

Crow said...

utah - Thank you, dear lady.

lisa - She actually enjoyed herself more without the tourists.

belette - Mais oui, there's much to be said for pinion feathers.

nancy - I don't have a million of them but sometimes just one is sufficient :-)

sera - Maybe the airlines should supply bungee cords rather than parachutes.

mary ellen - When I was hatched my dear mother placed a babblefish in my ear :-)

randal - How about a large envelope? I have some extra stamps.

spadoman - We both enjoyed Paris in the winter - drizzles and all.. and no, I haven't heard the one about the one eyed white elephant. Do you want to tell it?

Seraphine said...

i don't know if i want to bungee. it looks like one of those things you do once for the experience, and never do again.
i like the feel of solid ground under me.
i don't think i have crow in my family tree.

lindsaylobe said...

Hi Susan

Your previous post was a delightful post – but can I add another aspect to a free spirit -retain that youthful idealism to every new days visitation.

I enjoyed your picture and the great joke – the priest must have been pleased not to be stuck with the last rites and the smartest man on earth obviously did not have the uncommon common sense to check the label.

Best wishes

Seraphine said...

i have to confess. i take my pack with me everywhere i go too.

okjimm said...

Winter in Paris still sounds like a lot more fun than Winter in Wisconsington. We just sit around and watch water freeze.

Crow said...

sera - Wings are certainly more aerodynamically sound than giant rubber bands.

lindsay - Common sense is undeniably not the watch phrase for these times.

sera - Always best to be prepared.

gfid said...

crow is the only creature i know who spends his time in paris swapping jokes with gargoyles. ... i did once know a husky dog that the ravens seemed to enjoy conversing with.

Crow said...

gfid - There's no friend like an old friend, n'est ce pas?

Crow said...

okjimm - Mais oui, I also prefer to see the bubbles freeze in my champagne. Then I can drink the Remy Martin I prefer.