Monday, July 24, 2017

life's little lessons


Some young neighbours of a retired couple asked them what they did to keep life interesting.

The elderly man answered, "Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes but  when we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket.

"We went up to him and my wife said, 'Come on sir, how about giving us pensioners a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

"So I called him a fascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. Then my wife called him a total pillock. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. We continued to call him names and he just kept writing those tickets.

"This went on for about 10 minutes, and then our bus arrived."



“I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.”

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.” *
― Steven Wright

* (remind you of anyone?)

10 comments:

Sean Jeating said...

To begin with the end: I feel reminded of a total pillock twittering in a white house. Can't remember the bastard's name, though.
Hilarious joke, Milady, and a terrific drawing. The corners of my mouth are yet not backback from their expedition to my ear-lobes.

Sean Jeating said...

And herewith one back is taken back. :)

Lindsay Byrnes said...

Hi Susan,
Interesting fine drawing and joke that reminds me of yesteryear. I wonder what jokes we will be telling when all the parking police become extinct species. Because I do find the latest robot hatchlings all frightfully polite.
Best wishes

susan said...

Always happy to know one of your visits here has raised a smile, Sean. :)

susan said...

You may need an extra one day.

susan said...

Hi Lindsay,
Glad you enjoyed them. The robots may well be polite but chances are some program run by an algorithm will simply dun your bank account.
All the best

Ien in the Kootenays said...

Love the "French toast in the Renaissance" amd your drawings deserve a wider audience. Have you ever illustrated children's books?

susan said...

Hi Ien, Thanks for the message. The answer to your question is 'yes', but none published.

Should Fish More said...

I'd like to have had the opportunity to sit down over a pint or two some evening, at a local pub. I imagine you'd say "I gotta million of 'em".......

susan said...

I'm sure great hilarity would ensue on both sides at such a meeting. :)