Monday, July 24, 2017

life's little lessons


Some young neighbours of a retired couple asked them what they did to keep life interesting.

The elderly man answered, "Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and into a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes but  when we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket.

"We went up to him and my wife said, 'Come on sir, how about giving us pensioners a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

"So I called him a fascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres. Then my wife called him a total pillock. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. We continued to call him names and he just kept writing those tickets.

"This went on for about 10 minutes, and then our bus arrived."



“I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.”

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.” *
― Steven Wright

* (remind you of anyone?)

10 comments:

  1. To begin with the end: I feel reminded of a total pillock twittering in a white house. Can't remember the bastard's name, though.
    Hilarious joke, Milady, and a terrific drawing. The corners of my mouth are yet not backback from their expedition to my ear-lobes.

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    1. Always happy to know one of your visits here has raised a smile, Sean. :)

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  2. And herewith one back is taken back. :)

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  3. Hi Susan,
    Interesting fine drawing and joke that reminds me of yesteryear. I wonder what jokes we will be telling when all the parking police become extinct species. Because I do find the latest robot hatchlings all frightfully polite.
    Best wishes

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    1. Hi Lindsay,
      Glad you enjoyed them. The robots may well be polite but chances are some program run by an algorithm will simply dun your bank account.
      All the best

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  4. Love the "French toast in the Renaissance" amd your drawings deserve a wider audience. Have you ever illustrated children's books?

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    1. Hi Ien, Thanks for the message. The answer to your question is 'yes', but none published.

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  5. I'd like to have had the opportunity to sit down over a pint or two some evening, at a local pub. I imagine you'd say "I gotta million of 'em".......

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    1. I'm sure great hilarity would ensue on both sides at such a meeting. :)

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