Crow here. I know I've been away for a while and I apologize but I really needed a break. An invitation to fly with the condors in Peru was a chance not to be missed because these guys are totally cool and almost the same size as me. You didn't think I was a normal looking garden crow, did you? Andean condors are massive birds, among the largest in the world that are able to fly and since I stand at 6.5 feet (without my boots on) we can give each other back slaps and high wings without having to worry about injuring each other. Also like me, they have enormous 10-foot wingspans so strong winds are a joy whether high up in the mountains or along the coasts gliding on the air currents and thermals. It was a joy only their eating habits could spoil. I understand it's all very helpful to the environment but a diet of carrion got old for me once I ran out of the picnic goodies susan had packed. So I'm back. I see things haven't changed much.
It appears to me that giving more money to the people who caused the current economic problems isn't what I'd call helpful. I mean if you were going to give millions, billions or, God forbid, trillions of dollars, wouldn't you prefer it went to people who know what they're doing? Wouldn't you give it to those who have a history of spending money wisely for the greater good? Why not give it to Heifer or Doctors Without Borders or Unicef for crying out loud?
Speaking of trillions, what is a trillion anyway? I remember my old friend Carl Sagan saying there were billions of stars in the galaxy and billions of galaxies in the universe and everyone listening would gasp in awe. Now a billion is just like pocket change: 'Oh well, a billion here and a billion there, what's it matter?' Are they crazy?
Throwing money at these people is like trying to get rid of an infestation of rats by throwing edible garbage at them. Oh no, that will never cause them to go into an eating and breeding frenzy.
I'm reminded of another President I used to chat with many years ago, Andrew Jackson, and what he had to say in a similar situation:
"Gentlemen, I have had men watching you for a long time and I am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the bank and annul its charter, I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves... I intend to rout you out, and by the eternal God I will rout you out!"
Does anyone know a Chief Executive with that kind of courage?
Okay, that's enough from me tonight. There's a nice glass of warm brandy waiting for me and that perch over on the other side of the room looks very comfortable. I'll drink to your health and say 'Good night and good flight'.