Friday, September 23, 2011

a walk with Crow

This morning as susan and I strolled along the beach she mentioned that my absence from her blog had been noted. This is true and I do apologize if this has caused any consternation. The fact is I've been sequestered in my library for long hours in a vainglorious attempt to write a book for my animal friends on the subject of human intelligence. After copious rewrites the only thing I have to show is a pamphlet. Yes, yes you people have made huge strides in all sorts of ways that benefit you - I won't argue that. Yet I wonder who among you wouldn't agree, if asked to take my point of view, that so much of this achievement has a hollow ring. Let me spell out a few of my concerns for you in brief.

You'd think, given a planet that's 70% covered in water and 10% covered by mountains, deserts, and snow covered wastelands in a solar system with no other habitable biospheres that people would be careful of the real estate. You'd think they'd develop an intelligent approach to land use. You'd think they wouldn't fight stupid little wars over useful areas of terrain, wouldn't deploy weapons and energy generating systems that could render the land useless for human and animal habitation for centuries to come. You wouldn't think they'd knowingly pollute their water with poisons. You wouldn't think they'd fill the air with chemicals and the crops with genetically modified pesticides - what you call a pest is dinner to many of my friends. You'd never imagine a sensible race would chop down forests and pave the continents with asphalt and pipelines. Well, you wouldn't, would you?

The worst effects of human depredations could be overcome if you acted in concert to live in harmony with your environment as all other animals do. The trouble is that many of you aren't able to come to this conclusion on your own. The birds I've spoken with have told me you interpret their cries as simple bad temper rather than the urgent communication about danger they've been trying to establish.

We may have come up with a solution. Not only have the birds been studying you but now the parrots who have lived closely enough with humans to learn your languages have returned to the wild to teach the flocks how to speak. Perhaps when the day of reckoning comes it won't be zombie armies or hordes of robot warriors bearing deadly cleaning implements. Instead, you may witness the cockatoo apocalypse when millions of birds the world over stand outside your windows to shout:

I bid you a temporary farewell as I retire once more to my library with a fresh pot of espresso, an old fruitcake, and a snifter of Remy. This search of my files for anecdotes about human intelligence is a trying procedure. Meanwhile, susan has agreed to forward any remarks you see fit to leave for my attention.

Salutations, dear friends.


  1. I feel so mortified, Crow, for you have got us humans dead to rights. There is no justification for the wanton destruction and defilement of our planet. I am humbled by your astute evaluation of my fellow beings.

    On an entirely different (and trivial) note, I have long admired your cape and am trying to design a pattern so that I may sew one for myself.

    Regardless of the circumstances under which you have visited us today, I'm so very glad to see you here. Fruitcakes are appearing in the grocery and bakery shops now, so I'll buy one and think of you while I sip masala chai and nibble a slice of cake. I leave the Remy to you.

    With deepest respect, I remain

  2. Nice to see you again Crow. I have a feeling that your book on human intelligence will be a fine work. The sequel concerning on human stupidity will be much longer work.

    Perhaps one day we will learn to treat our fellow humans and the planet we we live on with the respect they deserve. Perhaps....

  3. Frankly, I'm surprised you managed a whole pamphlet. I'm guessing it was nothing but footnotes?

    Just tell some rich cracker he can make money off of reversing desertification.

  4. Thank you so much, Crow and Susan, for sharing your most important discussion. I despair for the earth and humans though you leave a note of hope that the birds and animals may teach a new way. How about a mission to all corporations and governments for starters? Maybe some pecks on their wooden heads might help as well!

  5. the crow - Dear lady of my proud species, I wish these things weren't so but we can only hope a better way may be learned.

    The cape was passed down by my great great great great (ad infinitum) Grandfather and its making has been lost in the warp and weft of time.

    I wish you great pleasure of your fruitcake and chosen beverage. I shall drink a toast to you this very evening.

    jams - You're correct that the actual tome (in several volumes) will address the subject of human stupidity; there is too much evidence to ignore.

    Imagining how different things could be is an excellent soporific.

    randal - Truth to tell, it's actually one page in a small spiral notebook.

    The pursuit of money, it's true, spoils most things.

    marja-leena - It's best not to despair, dear friend, for our hopes lie in the hands of the young ones among us. Human children, as well as young birds, grow smarter with each generation.

    I will suggest that the cockatoos take woodpeckers to every forum where decisions are taken.

  6. O M G.... while i detest these large loud white(mother...i am sure you understand) -is this one pink?? -birds, i did laugh hard enough to rush off to the potty at his rantings....and the child in the background is not sure he is sane...hmmmmmmm, yes, very upset.... crow, you are so right tho your writings only now fill one page of your small spiral-ringed notebook....humans are incredibly inane creatures who will learn to self-destruct one way or the other...perhaps building a huge, expensive space station, launching it after spending all the money they want to print and flying off into space(outer) and never returning, leaving this little blue planet to the wild and wooly beings that inhabit her so well....? one can hope the worst (and richest) of us just might do that....time will definitely tell as ego drives humans to such distraction as well as destruction, i can only shake my head, being part mule myself!

    give susan a kiss for me and have an extra sip for us all.... xox

  7. it is too early....i should at least wait until i have had my tea to write these public comments...but crow, this cape of yours is one beautiful thing and i must have one, only a little bigger... such detail and color and you carry it off with the dignity of Zeus!!! i am impressed!

    i will watch closely the crows who now are eating the walnuts at a rapid clip, to see if they too wear cloaks of the finest cloth....being crows, they always know the best places to

  8. You'd think they'd develop an intelligent approach to land use.

    What could be more intelligent than using up, polluting, and/or simply destroying it before the other guys does?

  9. linda - Crow thinks your idea about rich people building space ships and firing themselves out into the void is the best idea he's heard in a long while. Space adventures that include taking birds and animals along - never mind insects and flora are very rare. He's quite sure, and so am I, there's no reason for the rest of us to leave the planet until it's safe for all.

    It's always a delight for both of us to read your comments and Crow is very flattered you like his cape. I would be quite happy wearing the same thing every day too if I had been born wearing feathers or fur (preferably tiger) and as such he is luckier than us.

    if - The first time Crow and I saw a picture of the earth from space we felt sure people would realize how fragile is our home. We neglected to realize the inherent short-sighted nature of man.

  10. Well Crow, you nailed it. I'm afraid I'm part of the problem. I doi know better, and if I could talk the peoplem in my life into it, I'd life a much simpler life. Like John Lennon says, Imagine this world differently. I can, yet unless i want to live alone, I must join in the same society that is wreaking havoc here on the great Sacred Earth Mother.
    Thanks for your comments. I know you have our best interests inmmind. Thank goodness you are such a good friend to susan or we would never hear the truth spoken so tactfully. Your comments are appreciated.

    Peace, regardless of how bad we are as earth inhabitants, and a good flight pattern whereever you travel.

    By the way, that is a marvelous rendering mof you in the cape. Who did that, susan? She's good, isn't she?

  11. I'm afraid, dear Crow, that our human societies are lunatic asylums run by the inmates.

    This wouldn't be too bad if those administrative inmates accepted that they were mad - then some good things might happen. The problem is that they suffer from the delusion that they are sane.

  12. I'm horribly ashamed of the indefensible behavior of many among my species, with the Haves behaving the most despicably of all. I guess "having" means "taking" to those people, and they don't seem to care from whom they take it.

    Those of us who care about the rest of the world need to not just lead by example, but preach the gospel of environmental responsibility until we're blue in the face!

    Thanks for your "outsider's take" on our collective malfeasance.

  13. Crow!! lovely to see you, even if you're bang on with the species description. in my own defense, i have to say " i didn't CHOOSE to be human. the nice thing about pamphlets..... you can fill a lot of space with pictures if there isn't a lot to say. and it's a well known fact that most people don't read more than a few lines of them anyway.

  14. While I don't understand the language, I've noticed quiet a lot of loud conferencing among your members in my neighborhood, Crow.

    I'm hoping that they are asking "What are you doing" to my next door neighbor who cut down five healthy oaks in his yard this summer and just about broke my heart. I wish there was something the crows and I could do to make himn understand and atone for his crime but I don't think he understands crows or people who think and feel as we do about the natural world.

    By the way, those are fetching boots in Susan's portrait of you!

  15. spadoman - It's unfortunate that people at large haven't had the benefits of the wisdom you've been granted by your teachers. I know you do your best to live simply in a complex environment and I'm sure Mother Earth appreciates your assistance. I too wish you warm breezes and soft light wherever you roam.

    francis - One needs no further proof of such lunacy than what a trader said on the BBC interview showed me earlier. These people probably have hedge bets on their mothers being hit by fire engines. Although many of you have my sympathy, overall I am eminently glad I don't belong to your race.

    cr - I remember a time not so long ago when people spoke about seeing how the other half lived. Nowadays it's the other 10% and that's getting smaller every day.

    You're most welcome; we're in a proud minority.

    gfid - I am overjoyed to meet you again, dear lady. Quite frankly, I feel lucky the birth lottery decided the matter in my favor and hope in the future you may join me for a flight to a place of your choosing. Happily, we don't require passports nor recognize man-made borders.

    gina - When the world needs more trees rather than less it's nigh on impossible to imagine why anyone would commit such an obscenity. I would infer from your remark the flock in your neighborhood is indeed remonstrating with him. Hopefully, the cockatoos will be there to translate soon.

    I'm sorry for your sadness and reciprocate, my dear friend.

    Yes, there's nothing like a fine new pair of red boots. susan treats me well.

  16. Harsh words are so memorable - whether you are a cockatoo, a child, or an adult.

    As always I love your choice of garments and footwear, Crow. And what you say about us humans is irrefutbale. We have our good parts, but it takes only a few greedy and unscrupulous people (and there are many more than a few) to destroy so much. I am eternally grateful that Mother Earth is as forgiving and healing as she is, or we would have been done for long ago.

  17. steve - Yes, harsh words can be as painful as blows.

    I'm hoping Mother Earth hasn't quite run out of patience with us yet.

  18. i forgot to mention my lust for your lusty boots.... ;)
    xx~fly safe

  19. linda - Crow does indeed have fine taste in footwear :-)