Saturday, May 17, 2008

riff on splotchy (with apologies)

I had been shuffling around the house for a few hours and already felt tired. The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a figure striding away from the house, quickly and purposefully. I looked down and saw a bulky envelope. I picked it up. The handwriting was smudged and cramped, and I could only make out a few words."(Splotchy)

I waited, rooted to the spot. Still I stood waiting. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. The knock became louder, more insistent.

Suddenly, the room was flooded with bright light.

Good-bye, I'm going to New York and I may wake up in a strange bed with Suzanne Pleshette. (Dcup)

The only question going through my mind at this point was, “Who else knows, and what am I going to do about Elizabeth in the meantime?” (Actually, that’s two questions) I thought parenthetically.

“Forgive me Elizabeth, but if anyone in this world understands what I must do, it’s you. No one can know about my secret or my career as an Underwear Model is over, and I’m just not ready to hang up my Drawers.” (fairlane)

I considered my options and once again they were all too few. For 500 years I'd lived in the wilderness with sand, rock and water my only companions. I'd grown a bit thin but other than that the centuries had been peaceful. Perhaps the right decision was to return to simpler times. (susan)

(For those of you who wonder what this is all about I was infected twice in 24 hours with the same story virus by two people I like a lot. I promise not to re-infect.)


  1. I'll admit that I certainly didn't see the Return to Nature® riff coming! Make sure you know which mushrooms are tasty and which ones will make you hallucinate that you're still wearing underwear.

  2. randal - Good one but I must say hallucinated underwear is often the most comfortable :-)

  3. As fate would have it, I was wearing my Sponge Bob boxers on my head this morning.

  4. fairlane - Was that before or after you got out of bed?

  5. Thanks a lot for being infected!

    And what lovely illustrations! Very nifty.