Monday, October 24, 2011

you say good-bye

It was just a week ago I got word that one of my closest friends had died quite suddenly and most unexpectedly. A few days earlier we'd spent an hour on the phone talking about whatever occurred to us as the clouds blew past our separate windows on our shared planet. There were never planned times for talking but every so often it would occur to one or the other of us that it would be a fine time to hear the other's voice. Our conversations, Inger's and mine, were more like duets of love, laughter and shared impressions of whatever was occurring in that moment or something we'd seen or noticed previously suddenly remembered.

When I first met her in Montreal she was a master weaver from Sweden. Years later she had become a Sufi living in Philadelphia teaching peace and loving kindness. More than that it's almost impossible to describe the 40 years we shared.

Yes, I've mourned her absence this past week and will for a long time to come. Here on Earth Inger was the most gracious and beautiful person I've ever known but, all in all and all things considered, there was no one more prepared to step away at a moment's notice. I will love her always.

May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide you all the way on. *

from A Very Cellular Song by the Incredible String Band

addendum November 7th: I received this beautiful memorial from Inger's husband this morning and felt it should be added to the post: 

From Qadir Bibi's husband, Rick Asma'el:

Her leaving was a loss for everyone who knew her.  It has been almost 3 weeks since she left, and not a day goes by that I am not sobbing at the fact that never again in this life will I be able to hear her voice and touch her hand and be awed by the gentle light-love upon her face and in her heart.   

But she loves God and even in the last hour of her life, she was urging me to trust in Him more than in the doctors who worked so hard to help her.   She taught me Love, taught me to trust it and to give it unhesitatingly and fearlessly.   Our Sheikh, Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, is the light of our hearts and Souls;  Qadir Bibi's love within my heart is now inseparable from God's love and wisdom.   

She has not gone from my life, but has entered another room in my heart;  just as she has entered another room in her Soul-life.   My prayer for her is that her intention for surrender to God is accepted and that she becomes comnplete Divine Light, then returns to all our hearts and own  love.   

I mourn her passing, I miss her every moment, but I am immensely grateful to have had 18 years to love her and to be loved by her.  

She would not have us grieve.  What she would say is, "Do not miss me, but love each other as God loves you."  She would say it humbly and mean it and this is her beauty.


  1. So sorry for your loss of a very dear and lovely friend. This is such a beautiful tribute. Hugs.

  2. How very sad for those left behind yet what a heart felt tribute to your friend.

    I have sang that song many a time and it is very comforting.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss and the loss felt by Inger's nearest and dearest. Rest in pece

  4. Sorry for your loss and send the best your way. You say wonderful things and even explain that you understand. Maybe you do, but I know it's painful for you and for others whose lives she touched. I feel the pain you have for your friend. Her spirit soars because of your love.


  5. As long as you remember her, the song continues.

    I know, I know, that sounds very Star Trek 3, but you know what I mean.

    Love you.

  6. You are, as always, gracious. I, being less so, will rage for you, against the unfairness of losing one so fine, and so much loved. And pour Crow a double.

  7. ya, what Randal said, too. It is soooooo sad when friends leave....

  8. all in all and all things considered, there was no one more prepared to step away at a moment's notice. Only a human being full of love and light could be described this beautiful way. I am so sorry for your loss, Susan. You were closer than sisters, what with sibling rivalry and baggage and all, and had/still have a friendship many will never know (me, for instance). You both were blessed to have shared one another's lives.

  9. Susan, I'm sad to hear this. Why do the Good Ones so often leave us so soon?

    Hold her in your memory and whisper her name often. She'll live that way in your heart, and therefore in the world.

    Peace and Courage,


  10. I'd just get drunk and cry.
    the Ol'Buzzard

  11. It *is* impossible to explain such a long friendship, isn't it? Yet you did such a beautiful job of getting to the core of the essentials of your friendship with Inger.

    I thinking of you with love,

  12. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. What a beautiful way to go, however, prepared "at a moment's notice."

  13. oh susan, i am feeling so sad as you had just mentioned her to me! how quickly life turns for us... how soon what was for years is ended in it's present form only to to take another ....

    truly i regret i have not been online lately and so did not see any posts as i hadn't checked my reader...of all the times and today and yesterday i was thinking about you, wondering....i had a feeling something was not right....finally tonight i read this.

    i know you were very close and that you shared much in Spirit and in teachings...i am sure you are feeling the loss of a teacher of is so hard to lose those that are so rare in are in my prayers, my candle is lit. take good care of yourself and know you are being watched over still-the veil is now so thin and often during times like these, it is the thinnest of all. xxxoooxx

  14. I empathize with your sorrow, Susan, but am glad for you both that you were dear friends.

  15. Very sorry to learn of the loss of your dear friend. Thought I'd pop in to see what you were up to and find you in mourning. Beautiful eulogy. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  16. Very sorry to hear of your dear friends death- such a shock to the system. Nevertheless I have doubt she would want you to continue to live to the it’s fullest - as best you can - and in the manner of the wonderful witness which reamains with you.
    Best wishes

  17. Sorry to learn this Susan. I remember some of your tales about Inger and know you will be sad ... and will remember so many interesting, important and fun moments.

  18. Hardly a day goes by....

    It's still incredible to me.

    Send me a mailing address for you - I have a photo Burgin gave me if you'd like. I had a copy made for Rick and can have another one made to send to you when I get back to BC. I love the ones you've included on the blog entry.